Cony! ❤

今天我终于跟我喜爱的 LINE 兔兔 Cony 拍照了！

（> w<）❤

我好开心噢！

So Happy!

一开始我就两只手抓住兔兔的手。。。（因为太大了w）

但是看到熊熊，我又不想冷落他，所以松开一只手跟他比 Good \_

哈哈

所以另一只手就握紧兔兔的大拇指。。。(>u<)

啊。。。如果我笑得更好看一点就更棒了～

然后接下来就是我拍照前和拍照后的一些图片：

Brown & Cony 好可爱对吧。。。

兔兔真的好可爱噢！！！

啊！～～～我受不了了！

接着我和一位朋友排队去 LINE 的商品店，

买了一些东西

但它们的商品还真的好贵哦。。。

这个月没有拿到薪水，所以真的不能乱花钱。。。

只买了抱枕和交通卡～

然后气球是免费的

逛完LINE的东西后。。。

就有了个想法。。。

想送东西给她。。。感觉会很不错？！

想了，也和跟朋友商量了蛮久。。。最后便没有这样做

因为我觉得还是等她在服务台工作时去找她会比较好。。。嗯！

呀。。。但是我还真的是很想抱这个兔抱枕睡觉耶。。。

送她好吗。。。囧 哈哈

虽然才过了两三天。。。但是我已经很想念了。。。

想念工作时经常用她来糊弄我的警员们。。。帮我和她拉近距离的警员们。。。

当然也很想念看到她。。。

不希望这感觉被时间冲淡。。。

不知道为什么现在会感受到，会发生的感觉。。。

我不希望她会忘记我。。。

我的礼物我还记得听说她收在她的更衣间里的橱柜里。。。不想带回去怕弄脏。。。

希望她每次看到时都会想到我

当我安顿好了，我会回来的！

希望不会太迟。。。

老实说，我真的很想去警局看你。。。

但是感觉我就还没准备好。。。

或许就像妹妹说的，

我就先把自己弄好。。。然后再重新出发吧

星期一就准备去问工作的事了，希望一切顺利。

然后这个月竟然没拿到薪水，听说是什么因为我们退伍了，让我觉得有点问题

因为据我所知，我们这个月头该拿的，应就是为我们上个月所工作的薪水啊

才多两天就领薪了，就因为这样没钱？。。。有点说不过去吧？

如果是那些每个月没有存什么钱的人不就惨了？

所以星期一我会打电话去询问清楚

这几天呢。。。除了难过的情绪和其他不好的压力以外，

我也在试着想把自己的身体练大一点

我觉得自己还太瘦了。。。需要多一点肉。。。

但是呢，我不像很多人，我不喝那些粉类的东西。。。（不知道中文叫什么）

英文就是 Mass Gainer, Protein Shake，这种东西

很多去健身房的人就都会买这些东西弄来喝的

我是不怎么喜欢这种人工的感觉，而且这些东西也不便宜，

所以我就在自己的三餐中添加身体需要成长的营养。。。

吃多一点，不饿也吃，全麦面包啊。。。葡萄汁，黄梨汁，豆奶。。。三文鱼。。。等等等等的。。。然后就健身。。。然后就吃。。。

我觉得因为我个人的新陈代谢很高，所以需要吃很多很多才能够加重自己的体重。。。

有点困难。。。

我也是看到一些韩国男艺人，所以才想把自己的身体弄得大一点。。。感觉才好看

我相信很多女生也是会很喜欢那样的身材。。。

所以我也希望能够把自己弄得更完美一点

Operationally Ready Date

Today is the day I finish serving my 2 years of National Service.....

Honestly speaking, I don't feel happy at all....

In fact, I'm feeling sad....

I know this means that I'm about to progress into another stage of my life....

but I don't think I can take it....

There are so much emotions in me right now....

During my past few shifts, lots of things happened....

And yesterday, on my last shift, I really wanted to express my feelings for a female officer.

Almost everyone in the NPC has been helping me, and I'm really grateful and thankful to them.

I managed to talk to her, wished her Happy Birthday....and asked if she got received my present....

It makes me feel so happy when she smiled to me....saying Thank You and Yes....

That really already makes my last shift and everything worthwhile....

But, that's not all that I wanted to say....

I wanted to tell her that I like her and I want her to be together with me....

I think maybe because there is people in the room, I'm not able to tell her on the spot....

So they told me to come back later after I've composed myself and think about what I want to say.

Of course I did, and I'm ready to tell her that....

After waiting for their briefing to end....I tried to approach her again....

But she ran from the back door quickly....

I tried chasing after her but in the end I didn't manage to find her....and I'm so angry at myself....

I know I could have found her.....if only I had found her.........

I'm so stupid.....I really hope time could rewind for me to find again....I knew I would have got it.....

why do I keep failing.....

I really don't want to leave....I want to see her again.....

I don't want people to say bad things about her because of what happened.....

It's all my fault....I failed.....

I don't know what to do now.....only hope she would reply me....

I couldn't let go....I don't want to let go.....

I don't want to be alone anymore......

I still remember this time....exactly 2 years ago just before I enlist....

There is that someone for me to talk to and accompany with on the net everytime....

But not really anymore now....

Well, it's really hard to get over it....all I can say is that....we're still around?

Nonetheless, I wanted to thank her for accompanying me through lots of tough time in my life.

I think I will forever be grateful to her regardless of what happened.

我一直都会记得这个。。。就刚好在两年前。。。我去服役的那一天。

虽然我们现在已经不再常说话什么的了，许多事情也都变了。。。

但我只能说。。。至少我们都还在？

我非常感谢你陪着我度过我许多人生中辛苦的日子。。。

不管发生什么事，我觉得我都会一辈子感激你的。

I know it doesn't look the same....(bitter laugh)

Definitely need to work at the facial features such as adding in shades and stuffs to it...

But I never really try working on my drawings already...

and it's been quite some time since I last drew.

I just wanted to do a sketch of her.

To show my appreciation for her and her music that keeps me through so many hard times now......

6月7日。。。（え？。。俺は3月！）

Never really thought I would be able to give this out....thought maybe it will stay in my closet forever

But I'm glad I managed to give to her....although not personally..... (´・ω・`)

I don't know that it was actually her birthday, but you know...lot's of people are helping me and I managed to receive a ride home to get it!.... ((＞д＜))

It will definitely be a memorable experience for me regardless of anything...

Thanks so much.

Just wanted to give her something...well...since I prepared this quite long ago.

Yeah....anyway I hope she likes it?

Happy Birthday.

The next morning shift will be my last shift already.....

I'm actually thinking about lots of stuff every time....

Lots of stuff going on in my mind....like getting a girlfriend....it's not that simple.

I will think a lot, like about the future and stuffs....my situations...and I can't really tell myself to go and love someone when I'm still haven't secure a job and have a stable future or something....

And emotionally, of course there are something else that bothers me as well.....

It's hard.....

But when everything comes down, I want to have someone by my side....

I think that is the most important thing.

Days on my own always seemed so dark and gloomy....

Going to work probably seems better with people around....

Even though when majority of the people can't wait to not work....

But for me it's kinda different....it's better to have something to do.

I guess that's how bad it tells of my situation huh?....

It's like living in this world alone....

However...

Looking at myself in the mirror seems to always give me hope....

And I'm grateful for that~(laugh)

   その目は互いを認めるため

                                                  那双眼是为了确认彼此而存在

              その声は想いを伝えるため

                     

                                                                那声音是为了传达情感而存在

      その手は大事な人とつなぐためにある

                               那双手则是为了握住重要的人而存在的

BGM : EGOIST - The Everlasting Guilty Crown

久しぶりの。。。

Attended one of my old classmate's Graduation today

Thanks to the invitation from a classmate I met recently while on duty

Had a really good and fun time and....I really missed it quite a lot

Went to have our dinner at an authentic Indian cuisine food stall

Called Al Azhar or something?....I'm not really sure now

But yeah, the food is actually pretty good even though I seldom would try out Indian food except Prata

After that, we went to have deserts ice cream at a nearby place shown above

It's pretty interesting and I think we saw one of the mediacorp's artist there as well?....

the Romeo guy if I'm not wrong

Had a fun and good time chatting with everyone and I'm really happy

After that, me and 2 more person go for overtime playing bowling at HomeTeam NS till late night

But well, it's convenient now since we have a driver with us...(laugh)

Yeap, it's really great

I kinda hope we will be able to meet up like this more often from now on

There's quite a lot of nice photos taken today, but currently I'm not able to get them yet

But when I do, I will definitely try putting them up, maybe here or on facebook

Anyway, despite me seemingly being the only one left who hasn't graduated from Poly...

I'm really glad that there's no such bad feelings directed towards me from anyone

It's kinda great to have these friends actually.....

Ok that's all for tonight, had a really great time

Thanks & Goodnight ✩

-edited-

Alright, I've got it

Here's some pictures from yesterday~

Good ol' pals from Class 4-1~

Went to my team chalet today at Pasir Ris.

Comfortable room, will be nice to sleep in.

But too bad we are working tomorrow morning, definitely can't sleepover.

When I reach the place, there really isn't really much people there yet, and so I went to the beach for a short while...

It's been quite long since I last came here...

Can't remember when already......

Anyway, went back to the house shortly after, and soon follow up by night BBQ.

Even though it's a long trip,

Still kinda glad that I came...definitely feels better talking and interacting with the people around.

はまって。。。

It feels like it's been quite a long time since I'm last so infatuated with an artiste's music and person.

The last one is Utada Hikaru I think?

Well, actually both of us share some similarities with that as well....(laugh)

Her name is Yasuda Rei (安田 レイ) or Rachel Rhodes.

Usually I only like girls that have a bit of 'meat', but seeing her really changes that.

She's really pretty.

Anyway, what I wanted to say is...

If not for her songs, I think my days wouldn't have been so great then...

I wouldn't be feeling any happiness at all probably...

It's because of her music, it totally helps transform my day into a wonderful one and sets my mood onto the positive track, and I really thank her for that.

It is also her who gives me the strength to take the brave step out on my own.

So much thanks for her that I decided to go HMV to buy her album earlier today.

But to my disappointment, it's not on the shelf, and doesn't seem to be available in any of the CD shops here...

Either way, I will keep a lookout for it.

Meanwhile, I will keep supporting all her music for sure!

凄い好きですよ！

My 2 years of National Service is coming to an end...

Although I always hear people saying they can't wait to ORD and get out, hate NS and stuffs.

Actually I'm grateful for it.

Because it actually helps me reorganize my life back.

I'm able to met new people, understand new things, and discover new directions.

Compared to the past, where I worked those unstably part-time job, and not having enough money some point in time or another...

Without any friends or any advice....life is really tough.

I don't want live that kind of life again...

Although so far there hasn't been any successful results in my applications and stuffs,

I don't think I will give up.

Though finding job in the meantime could be a problem again, the real pressure comes from my mother actually...and I'm worried about that......

Regardless of anything, I will try my best.

WILL

Made a call to Avex Singapore earlier.

I manage to speak to the GM, which is a Japanese but he can speak English as well.

It's really nervous....I doesn't seem to be able to speak well.

I've even prepared Japanese words which I feel I might need to use during the talk.

But in the end, I didn't manage to use any of them at all.....(bitter laugh)

Perhaps it would be better if I converse with him in Japanese?

I didn't think I have present myself well enough...

Even though the answers couldn't be like what I really hope for,

I'm satisfied with it, after thinking about what he said.

I were told to call him back anytime, whenever I'm ready, to have something to show and when I'm ready.

And I'm glad he said he's not excluding the possibilities of my proposal.

If only I have presented myself well enough, speak better, maybe a meet up would be possible?...

If only assessment could be make this way...

Initially, I wanted to make a call next week, after the Japan's Golden Week.

Feeling that maybe the important people might not be around.

But nonetheless, I decided to make a call because I feel that the longer I drag,

the courage and will to call would dwindle more and more,

and in the end I might not have done it.

But I'm glad I did.

Because I've done something I wouldn't be regretting about not doing.

Tried visiting Avex Singapore earlier.

Don't know why but it just keeps popping up in my mind......

And so I decided to do it.

Well, after reaching the area, I managed to find the building that it is located in,

but then I realised that there are a lot of different companies inside as well.

There are security gantries at the lobby and not everyone could access to the elevator.

I think an appointment or such would be needed to be able to visit the place.

I think I will try contacting.

Maybe this sounds crazy...

But one thing is true, we only live once.

To soar to a height unreachable by anyone!

僕の未来は。。。眩しく見えない。

俺の能力は信じてだから。。。

The answer lies within me.

BGM : 安田レイ - Mirror

風景画は

There is no colour

A colourless landscape

BGM : HYDE - Shallow Sleep

It's a Rainie day today......

出门了不久就下起了雨。。。

不知道要去哪里好。。。

想搭巴士。。。

然后就来到了这里了。

平常很多人出出入入的地方，但今天来时却是没什么人的。。。

那种感觉蛮好的。

好烦恼。。。

只从昨天发现申请的工作没成功。。。

好奇怪，一切都做得很好，服役工作上，面试什么的都感觉很好很顺利，

不知道为什么会有这样的结果。。。

真的好懊恼。。。

没什么人可以说。。。特别是家人吧

感觉跟母亲说，她也只会用不好的话语来回复。。。

然后让我感到更糟，更多压力

最担心的当然就是又提起什么不管叫我搬出去的那些话。。。

好讨厌听到那些。。。

怎么办才好。。。好像不管我怎么想都想不到的答案。

感觉我就不想再重新申请了，感觉这样做就没意思了。

其实呢。。。

没成功。。。好像在某些方面会让我感到轻松。。。

但是。。。这样我好像又失去了方向。。。

どしゃぶりの女

只是第一个故事  ‘どしゃぶりの女’ 。


-edited-

原本只是被第一个故事所吸引，

但是后来几天因为真的很闷，便也看完了整个影片。

蛮不错的。

早早洗碗盘时，看到红色的月亮。。。
但是现在已经没了。


每次在清理食物时，要把剩下的饭菜倒掉时，我就会觉得浪费。。。
想如果能把这一些饭菜，不管多还是少，喂给外头的那些流浪猫还是狗，
都能让他们好好的吃饱了。。。就觉得蛮过意不去的。

一直都想那么做。。。如果我一个人住时。。。
去楼下寻找哪里有流浪的动物。。。然后给它们吃。。过了差不多一个小时再回来收拾。
然后久而久之，可能它们就会每次在那个时间在那里等了。
渐渐地。。。就把它们带到比较方便的地方？。。。然后按时去这样喂它们。
感觉还蛮不错的？

然后每次看见红色的月亮时，
我就会想到 Castlevania Aria of Sorrow 的情节。。。
在血红的月亮中就隐藏着传说中吸血鬼的城堡。。。
然后希望自己会被吸进去里面。。。在里头探险。。。呵。