Been starting to see some old friends of my age registering for marriage....

Would also be attending one later this year....

Feels kinda scary to be honest....

How others have moved on forward so much and I'm still kinda struggling in life....

Sudden thoughts that I might not even be able to reach to that part of life....

how much preparation needed to even reach there....

All these thoughts are kinda heavy but also kinda motivating me to work harder.....

It then seems like....that's actually one of the spiritual?....goal of our life?

Finding a partner....going through with the ceremony together....and receiving blessings then....

Maintaining contacts with friends and people that you get to meet in your life is also quite

a challenge.....it's not easy....especially when there's so many people one would get to meet....

I'm improving myself....

Don't know why but sometimes I would avoid bumping into someone I know....it's weird

(Something inside of me just don't feel comfortable?....)

Then again....I could open up and switch on the socialising button....and there would be no problem

talking with almost anyone....

But I guess most of the time, my button's off....

Perhaps because there's sadness in my heart....which makes me feels off most of the time....

I don't know

Would be great if people could have this understanding without me telling them....(hah)

So they won't find me weird or anything of that sort....(laugh)

I think it's also the small accidental things I've done, that sort of caused me having some of these

weird emotions as well....

Such as accidentally unfollowed and then decided to clear some people on instagram & etc....(laugh)

Maybe these kind of stuffs....plus as I'm kinda sensitive to the feelings of others, or sometimes,

I might just be thinking too much....?

Anyway, feels better after saying what I've wanted to say here....getting stuffs off my chest

Night.

Recently I've bought a mic to sort of improve my content of my game recording...

Still getting used to talking and sounding 'nice' for my recording

But I'm definitely starting to get more comfortable with it as time passes

Went for my IPPT today at Sportshub at around 5pm today

Luckily I managed to pass it with 71 points on my first attempt this year

Didn't really have much time or energy to prepare for this year's IPPT

But surprisingly I've performed better this time round compared to last year I would say

I've ran first place with a 12min+ timing which I considered as a great improvement

as compared to my past of around 13~14min++

So yeah, think I've finally nailed the breathing pattern for me when I run

And also the small trick of using the vicks inhaler for clearing stuffy nose thing....

It really works wonder I would say

So recently this year I've also enrolled in the haircutting Nitec course

Don't think I've mentioned it here yet but yeah

So far I feel it's kinda tiring and stuffs....(as usual)

I'll try to uphold my value of not giving up of course

Hopefully I could go through with this course successfully....

I'll just tell myself to learn the most out of it and try to do it step by step

in how I'm told to do and not think too much and dread about it....

Good thing is the whole school fee is free and I do not need to fork out a single cent

except with the use of my PSEA account which is great

But I think I would still need to spend money on some of the equipments I would need

to use privately on my own or at work next time such as the scissors for cutting real person

and hairdryer and etc...

Olivia Lufkin - Into The Stars

🖤.........

Feeling & Emotion

There's some things I would like to express....

Sadly, there isn't anyone who could lend me their ears....

That's why I'm writing here...

Feelings are something that affects me a lot

And I've came to realized that not every feelings should be followed through

Even if they are your true, honest & real feeling....for someone

I hope that unblessed feeling would be no more whenever I see that person from now on

Because it's clear to me where the heart lies....

It's kinda absurd....why sad and complicated relationship issues always happen to me....

No love, no companionship....perhaps the time is not yet right for me....

But well, I've tried follow through my feelings, and there is no regret.

Think it's what I needed to do and go through to understand and grow as a person.

(Though I think deep inside, we all wished that our true feelings would be reciprocated...)

Maybe it's kinda amazing to look at it this way and see how things are being planned out..?

It would be great now if our relationship don't turn into a bitter one.

Though I hope not to get close anymore.

As it will only bring painful emotions....especially for me

Got to let go of the unwanted feelings now.

Every year seems to have some things in stall for me.....

This year is no exception and I know next year will be too

Looking forward to a better future~

桜雨

Under a cherry blossom rain,

together,

we had a vain and fragile dream.

Why are you the only one

that my capricious heart

can't let go?

The love of two people

represents the evening.



Under a cherry tree

I leave there my floating heart

and walk away.

That dreamlike story

has turned out to be a joke.



Everything that happens in front of us

looks like a true miracle.

We even seem to forget to blink and to breath.

Under a cherry blossom rain,

together...

A precious scene that demands just a moment.

Even if with the dawn it seems I come out from a dream,

I'd love you even more.



The days I cannot meet you

are clear, or they are cloudy;

why the world always looked different 'till now?



I laugh, as always, but

probably I look lonely.

I made you do that face,

and I hate myself.



Under a cherry blossom rain,

together,

we had a vain and fragile dream.



A guilty and repeated lie:

sharing countless last kisses,

maybe we'll be able to end this.



It will give you new feelings,

this love will look like your first.

Who do you love, now?

Even if you struggle,

you'll be pervaded,

because this is an essential poison.

Enough, untie yourself!

Free yourself now!

Go away, far away!

Become the past.



Remove the scars from your accumulated wounds,

even if they'll come back again and again;

their feeling and the pain

are not remotely important,

because even if you're stained,

I'll still love you.



Under a cherry blossom rain,

together,

we had a vain and fragile dream.

Why are you the only one

that my capricious heart

can't let go?

The love of two people

represents the evening.



"Even if we're not destined,

staying connected,

will we ever be able to change?"


_____________________________________


This MV is really well made, and kinda catches my attention.....

It's like something I would like to have now but couldn't....

Anyway, one thing I appreciate a lot from japanese music is that

even if it's in visual-kei or rock genre, their lyrics can still be so deep and meaningful.

DISTRESS AND COMA

滿座 Full House

Saw this while feeding tuxedo kitty cat downstairs 😌

Actually it's while I'm trying to find a box for her to rest in

Sad to see her sitting alone in a corner.....without a comfortable place to rest in.....

MTG War of the Spark pre-release event

so many different Planeswalkerrsss~

Went to help play for my friend at the local shop for this new event

It's kinda excited and fun to see so many Planeswalker appearing, as usually they are rare & exclusive

But for this set, it just changes the whole concept and take it to a new level

So I didn't spend much money but $20 and I've gotten all these....(laugh)

Actually main thing for me is to just collect cards with beautiful artworks that I like

As I'm switching to playing Online nowadays (more efficient and saves card material)

So no point keeping too many cards inside my cupboard

I probably won't be joining other events after this onwards....

Kinda running out of space to keep them all

Also, there's more important matters I got to do...

manage to collect my favourite cards of the set in foil version

Finish setting up PC for streaming....its kinda easy actually

Due to a friend pushing me to complete it, and I did....thanks I guess

Hard part is definitely getting audience and revenues of course

But I don't think this is whats for me, as I already feel tired of playing too much games

Well, but I did accomplish what I had previously wanted to do...so it's still something I guess

Just that it will be like a boring leisure activity for me....

Maybe for sharing of music while I stream, playing and chatting with friends at my channel...etc

What's important now.....is probably future planning like getting a proper job.....

Which honestly is the biggest problem for me....not sure what's the best move right now....

Sadly my interview for Owndays didn't get through....well

Hopefully by this year I could settle down on this

My NP application didn't get through, not like I would expect it to be otherwise

Actually I don't really see myself going back to Poly at all, just applying for the sake of closing it 

once and for all

So far for 2019 this year...

Feel like I've completed quite many things on my checklist

I would hope for even more progress this year still, with better and greater changes in life....

25 just feels like such an important point of time in life.....it's kinda scary

TIGI

Wanted to introduce and share about my favourite hair styling products of all-time

And one that I've been using a lot nowadays....and its definitely not Gatsby....hah

It's these 2 product, from a brand named TIGI

Really amazing, especially the hair wax which could make my hairstyle looks great the whole day

Out of all the products I've ever used thus far, I think this is the only one I would

 used up all and stick to using it without hesitation

Really glad to have known about this product from my hairstylist

Anyway, I'm going to attach the product link here for reference :

https://www.tigi.com/bedheadformen/us/product/matte-separation-workable-wax/

Another one of it is of course the hairspray which I found and bought separately

It works wonder as well and it has a nice vanilla smell?...

Probably the best hairspray fragrance I've ever used as well

When pair together, my hairstyle could last the whole day without much problem

Regardless of wind or wearing caps and stuffs, my hairstyle could just be easily molded back

It's that great and so I've decided to share them here

Alright, peace out~✌

♪ :  李荣浩 - 耳朵 🔂

Is it getting better?....

I hope so.

Think I should be paying visit to those music bars / cafes I looked up before soon

To check out for any performing opportunities

Sometimes I feel motivated to do so.....

But most of the time now I just simply doesn't have the mood

Feels so tired...................

好久不见的猫咪！。。。刚刚放工突然在楼下看见它！

呵呵。。。

它变比较大更胖了呢。。。♡

希望它在外头能继续平平安安的。。。

(˘◡˘)

Ninjas in Pyjamas

My NiP Team Jersey has finally arrived

And I'm liking it very much...its so awesome!

My Youtube Channel

Finally, after writing about it in the past....

I've managed to setup my Youtube channel and posted the first content yesterday night

It seems kinda rush but I'm actually pretty satisfied with what I've created in such a short time

https://www.youtube.com/user/SyouSociety

Looking forward to getting my first subscriber! (laugh)

Finally....back with a new PC

----------------------------------------------------------

And finally.....

Been unable to post using mobile phone due to the inconvenience of formatting

2019 has already been quite a year for me....or at least I feel

Been having some acne problems nowadays....

It's been quite a while.....

My laptop has been malfunctioning, so it will just shutdown all of a sudden and having problem to start it properly again

I even feel lucky to be able to make this post right now


Anyway recently I'm playing Magic the Gathering card game after being introduced to the game by friends

Been enjoying it, liking the artworks and stuffs


Went to the MOE ECG department today for some education counseling, hoping to get some guidance for my next year poly application....if I do go for it

Do wish that I could get into a course which I would excel in.....preferably back into my hotel management course

Of course apart from that I will be thinking of other backup plans

This should be the last time I would try to apply for poly as well....yeap

So far all the beers kinda taste the same for me.....

And they don't really taste fantastic at all either, just taking to help for better sleep.....

到目前为止许多啤酒的味道好像都是一样的

而且也没什么好喝。。。就只是想帮助睡眠才喝的。。。。。

Dreamsprite.....

The art is so dreamy, takes me many years back when I first saw it.....

What is there to be stressed about......as a human

Being alive.....not waiting to be killed for food like all the poor animals out there.....

Just this thought alone is enough to clear out any reason for me to feel stressed

身为人类。。。有什么好烦恼的

活着。。。而不是像那么多可怜的动物因食物而等待着被屠杀的命运。。。。

光是这个想法就足以让我去除所有什么烦恼，有压力的理由

Been clearing some old memories daily recently....

Looking back, it feels kinda silly writing some of the stuffs

Or was I not caring that there would be other people reading them?.....

___________________________________________

还记得这只猫咪吗

我已经蛮久没看见它了呢。。。

自从那一晚，在我深夜回家发现它在一个角落。。。。

当下没有认出来。。。但想想一定是它没有错

因为它短短的可爱尾巴。。。。

但是当时它却不吃我给它的食物。。。。很奇怪。。。碰也不想碰

然后一直粘着我。。。

还过了马路。。。直到我走一点远了它才没继续跟过来。。。

当时就感到难过。。。。

然后也不知道那也会是最后一次再看到它了。。。。。

可能它是在感谢我这些年对它的照顾。。。。

在对我做最后的告别。。。。？

想了就伤心。。。。

很抱歉拖了那么久才为你写这篇文章。。。

谢谢你这些年给我的爱。。。让我摸摸秀秀。。。让我开心。。。

然后很奇妙的，在附近出现了一只好像它的替代猫咪。。。

呵。。。很亲近人。。。软软的很好摸。。。

但这次有其它善心人士也会喂它，所以我也不用太担心了。。。

谢谢你，花花猫猫

Gotten this playmat for 1/8 of the original price....sweet deal.

Recently visited the haircutting school I wanted to enquire about

Felt some hesitation still, if I should really go into this......

Well I just finally finished paying that big sum of money

wasted on that Diploma not too long ago

So money is kind of an issue here

But it's not that serious this time with several schemes that could help reduce much of the fees

There is also an apprenticeship program which I'm considering to take as well...

Though the salary is quite low from start....but somehow I think it's better

I would need to pass an interview too....

(  thinking.....thinking........thinking..................)

But other than that I still feel kinda uneasy....

It feels like the first day of school or something.....

Full of dreadfulness....and can't wait to go back home

(  sigh ......  )

Feels stressful....

It's sad scrolling through facebook newsfeed, and see posts by PETA.....

About animals that are badly treated....sent for slaughter....

Makes me feel sad every night..... every now and then......

Leaves me with a heavy heart every time I see something like these.....

The look on those animal faces.... many times now, I couldn't even bear myself to see some videos

Besides promising myself to consume less meat, and sometimes expressing subtle messages to people regarding these issues

I can't do much to change this problem at a larger scale.... and I feel extremely sad, sorry and indignant for all the animals out there that are suffering and dying.....and those that already did....

I hope I could do more in the future, and the ability to more so

Or some day, someone incredible could do something to change this whole situation... then that would be really wonderful

If it happens, it would definitely be the best thing that have ever occurred in the world's history

Fatal Frame II : Crimson Butterfly・零〜紅い蝶〜

早前玩完了这个游戏。。。（松口气）

啊。。。还蛮感动的呢其实。。。

这个游戏虽然已经出那么久了。。。可以说旧了

但是惊悚跟恐怖的程度可说还是很高的呢

游戏音响也做得很可怕

加上这游戏很特别就是用摄影机这个概念来执行的

根本可以说是能让人联想到的一种真实感。。。

又或者能说是 事实？。。

感谢这个游戏带给我的娱乐以其知识

让我觉得更了解了一些事，特别是在神秘学这一块

像是摄影机这个东西，和现代的照相机，是大不同的

从名字中就能够取解了

还有就是相信关于地狱深渊的事情。。。

我认为在众多的民间故事当中，我相信有一些案子应该是真实存在的。。。

我不认为有人能够凭空捏造出那么多深奥又详细跟仔细的东西出来

所以说，

在这世界那么多名俗学当中，我相信有些应该是真实存在的（二度强调）

想想其实还蛮可怕的。。。

好想跟一个在身边的人分享自己所感受到的这一切与想法。。。

但很可惜就是没爱人。。。

最后想说的就是。。。

很喜欢 天野月子 为这游戏所做的形象歌曲。。。

‘ 蝶 ’

蛮久没去唱歌了。。。

刚好听到了一首觉得很好听的新歌

就决定去唱了

柜台服务员人好好，看我一个人还给我其中一个最大的包厢

可能就像是一个礼物吧。。。

但果然啊

好久没唱，真的有差！

高音就很难顺顺的出来

但是越唱就慢慢那个感觉才会回来一些。。。

然后喉咙也觉得好累，也不够气

但是我就一直连环的唱同一首歌。。。一直唱

感觉好好喔。。。释放大声唱歌的感觉。。。

表达出那个情感。。。

脑里也一直浮现出我对歌曲的 MV 应该是怎样呈现的画面。。。

好了，唱歌的事就说到这吧

大胃王猫猫

大胃王猫猫它好像真的不见了。。。。

我只希望它没事。。。只是到另一个邻里生活去了

或者是遇到好心人士领养了，现在舒舒服服的在家里居住

原本一切还很好的，直到有一天在它休息的组屋楼下有人办丧礼

我觉得很严重的影响到它休息的环境。。。

我也很讨厌这样的事情发生。。。

然后当丧礼完毕后。。。慢慢的我就找不到它了。。。

放在那里的盒子也没再去睡了。。。。。

蛮难过的。。。。

我还记得当初。。。

在我家附近的邻里发现它时

颈项还有着领子之类的

想说是不是谁的宠物失踪了。。。

还在附件组屋楼下看有没有贴什么失踪宠物的告示

但没有

是不是被遗弃了呢？。。。。

当时看到它我就喂了它食物，就发现它吃很多呢！

呵呵。。。好可爱。。。

接着呢，不久后

我就在对面马路的邻里发现它跑去那里了！

然后渐渐的，也就变成我照顾的猫咪之一了

它很黏我呢。。。

甚至想跟我回家喔。。。。

只是很遗憾我家人不允许我带它回来。。。

无论如何。。。

我希望大胃王猫猫你平安无事的！

可能未来的日子，我们还会有缘相见！

要照顾好自己知道吗！

爱你喔~（muack）

Been playing Final Fantasy VIII lately after buying it on Steam at a discounted price

I'm glad that I bought it....really

Because in the past, more than 10 years ago....

I've only watched this game being played at my cousin's house

And it really leaves some deep impression and memories on me

Even though I don't really understand the whole story of the game at that time,

I find the whole game so magical and captivating.....

Definitely knowing its a game with depth without even playing it myself....

As I remember its like a 4-Discs game?....it's like a first for me at that time

to know something like that exists

I would say even more so now.... haha

Oh man.... it would be a real treasure if we could salvage it for collection now....

Anyway, back to the game

There's so much thoughts and emotions running through me

as I play through the game myself....

It's wonderful, old memories & new ones....

I really enjoy those beautiful arts & concepts of places thus far

Even if the graphic is not like the present super realistic ones,

I could see behind it....I could feel how beautiful it just is....

I have not finished playing the game....

but I'm already starting to understand more about the mystery I'm not sure of....

About who is Laguna to Squall, and the 'Dream World' thing

Because I had only read about people's opinion and different theories about it,

many of which seems like they are not too sure themselves either

So I really wanted to see how is it myself and I think it's really interesting

If only I had played this game much sooner...

I would have been able to convey some of my feelings and thoughts much more....

With people whom I knew played this game....

Oh well, but I guess that's kind of how things should be

It would only be now and this time, that I would be playing it

(Ah.......)

.

.

.

I don't like to say it....

But I think I'm lost in my life now.....

My current situation.... I can't give anyone happiness.....

2018 前に。。。

在 2017，23:20 左右

我决定出门找盒子给大胃王猫猫。。。

爬了10层的楼梯，终于找到了一个合适的盒子给它

赶紧就想拿去给它~

坏事是。。。雨却开始越下越大。。。

快下一整天了

看样子它很喜欢呢。。。呵呵

当然也清理了它一下

早时已经清理了一次，但还是脏脏~

很碰巧，在这个时候也碰见了帮忙照顾猫猫的阿姨

她人也真好。。。谢了

糟糕不知为什么我已变得那么在意这些猫猫。。。

啊。。。。。