Friday, 15 July 2011

Music & Nature


Found a quiet and secret place amidst the crowded shopping centre...
                              I just love finding places like this on my own.




The moon yesterday, seems to be luring me to see it...seems to be telling me : 'I will help you ease your emotions a little...'
Indeed, I feel so much better listening to my classic best japanese musics while gazing at the moon...
My beautiful memories and fantasy seems to be flooding back, I love it...




I find the background light very beautiful~
While sitting at the pony and looking around, my fantasy creativity seems to be working again, haha.
Seems like I have not lost 'it'.

That night, I especially want to thank, TiA, Kana Nishino, YUI, Sayuri Sugawara, Ruppina, & Hikaru Utada for your music which created the beautiful image in my mind while listening to them.
Thanks for your music that accompanies me throughout the night...perhaps even throughout my life...

Tuesday, 12 July 2011

山口リサ「Never Ever~今だけでも~」トレーラー

雨のMessage


Woke up at night and saw my sis 's message... don't feel like replying....
Hearing the sound of rain....I look outside...it is raining heavily indeed...

ViVid - Blue [PV]


Shin 's movement in this MV is not as daring and sharp as Shou's , nevertheless, this song is quite good to explode on Live Concerts.
Always hope I could show my own move styles in MV...

Wednesday, 6 July 2011


我想剪头发了,但是呢,有人叫我流长一点,就能剪那些好看的发型了。
我想剪将的 BLUE FLAME 短发型,但其实,我还不够长耶,前面要更长。
所以我觉得, 松下 優也上面的发型也很不错~?


-编辑-
后来还是被建议,跟着将的照片剪了 囧

之前:





之后:


好像没什么变化哦~!
哈哈,其实是有点啦,只是,手机拍不出。

而且,我觉得,手机拍照时,我的样子会比较不好看?
哈哈,今天,因为没预约,所以得等一个小时, 当我去厕所时,发现。。。其实没剪也不要紧吧,还能省钱,但还是去了 xP

我找不到礼物呢 0 30
惨了惨了,我要更努力想和找才行!!

(说溜嘴了\( O o O) /  哈哈哈 )
我真的好想给嘛。。。忍不住了啦~

抱住了

妹妹,
有你在我身旁,我真的觉得自己,很幸福,很满足了。
你才不会很没用呢。。。你给了我好多的爱。。。好多。。。一般人都不会给我的呢。
我也想让你,幸福又快乐的活下去。。。跟我一起? 哈哈。。
就说现在。。。只要跟你开心的对话。。。心情就很好哦。

就算我再次变冷淡了。。。我也希望你能记得,我心里真的是很爱你的。
但是,我能确定。。。当我们见面时,什么问题都会没了! 哈。



只要你不介意的话。。。什么都好~

Tuesday, 5 July 2011

我的占有欲可是很强的哦 ◔ ω 
你确定要跟我吗。。。

哈,当然,不是神经神经的那种~
但我要的 爱 是很亲近的呢 ♥♥
如果还是想要。。。就来抱住我吧~ ◕  3◕
我对你。。。冷冷淡淡,你还是会照样的来找我说话。。。

我有时候, 就像这样,会讨厌自己的行为,但却还是照样的去做,就好像是想毁掉东西,
让自己回去一个人的世界里。。。没人会想管我。
我应该每次都会有这种感觉吧。
可能真的有人,是根本不需要任何人的。
而且,需要的话,就只是一种暂时的尝试或也有可能是谎言。

我要的是。。。
答案,我会自己去寻找。。

Monday, 4 July 2011

Today, while I'm serving food, a lady called on me to help her order food.
Since I'm free, I walked over to help her.
When she opened her mouth and speak, I'm so attracted to her voice~ U 口 U
Her voice sounds so innocent and pure....ahh, so nice~ U 口 U
Haha, oh, I forgot my life motto, being happy is the most important! I will work part time again and enjoy my life~

Woohoo! xD
Life is kinda fuck up man...
I have to work to death almost everyday and now I have trouble sleeping every night?!
My mood now is so fucking bad.
Moreover, I'm beaten by some insects at night every few days...
@#$%^&*()_)(*&^%$%^&*

And why am I working so hard for? I have no goals anyway.

Friday, 1 July 2011



Bought some new clothes today, so happy hahaha.
Well, I buy cheap ones of course, now I have to work hard to save money
~ 3~
Not bad right? Haha.
Anyway, my hair is kinda awkward at the front, think I will go cut when I get my pay next month ^o^ /
頑張って~!

我的气色好象不太好 X oX

P.S. : My left eye is not nice...sadly, my fringe covers my right eye which is the nice one. X~ X
P.S. : 我的左眼不好看。。。但流海却盖住右眼。。那个比较好看的眼睛。

Don't know why...I've always feel so worried of the future...
I'm so tired working nowadays....especially while I'm full-time...I have to earn money to pay my own rent, school fees, and almost everything...I wonder how long it would last...
Hikaru Utada, I've always see your UH Collection video clips during late midnight in the past while Im feeling sad and down, and your videos, makings,  have never fail to cheer me up...but even now...I can't see them when I wanted to...Your musics have helped in creating a beautiful world in my mind...and I will always thank and admire you as an amazing musician.

Even though my future may be dark, I push onwards...
Even though, I may not be myself with anyone around...I will always be myself when I'm alone.

Thursday, 30 June 2011


真是美丽的天空。。。跟妹妹一直在一起~

トロッコ電車と保津川下り (SONY HDR-XR500V+Canon HV10)



听着歌,关掉影像的音乐。。。看着~
Hi my fellow blog readers,
if you are a keen viewer of my blog, you would have known that I have 2 other websites linked in conjunction with my current blog.
Do visit them for a different style of music, and also, taste in life.
Take time and submerse yourself in the beautiful world.

www.dolly-jp.blogspot.com
www.versailles-jp.blogspot.com

读者也能娶我另外两个网站享受不同的音乐感受哦~
抽出时间,享受着美丽的音乐所在你脑海创造出的 完美世界。

www.dolly-jp.blogspot.com
www.versailles-jp.blogspot.com

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Forsaken Heart

原来。。。我人生几乎所有的伤都是来之于我的父母。
他们说话真的会翻来覆去。。。而且,还抱着是我的错的态度继续跟我说话。
真的还是我的错吗?
那时说我只要做全职的工就能搬回来住,然后,靠自己来赚我自己的学费。。我也接受了,但现在呢? 你们却说要我改我的态度。
我不觉得自己的态度有什么不对,我在家都很少说话,而你说我会顶嘴。我就是觉得有些事情很过分我才会顶嘴啊!
不要紧,然后,还对我说,叫我去做家务。我告诉他:‘我需要做工啊’,他便回答,做工回来可以在做!
叫我去帮忙扫地洗衣,然后妈妈就不用做了。
更本一点也没为我早想。。
我很不想怎么说但,我觉得爸爸真没用,每次都只听妈妈的指示。。。对错不分。

现在,我会继续在餐厅做工,做全职吧,想卖衣服,但想到车资加吃的钱,应该会不够。
回想一下,我搬出来后,父母连一毛钱也没给我,还叫我奶奶跟我拿多一点钱(房租),敢敢拿。。。还以为我没听到?
我想回去,也因为,做工回去家里会比较舒服。。。但他们不肯,算。
我觉得,当孤儿会更好吧?

以前,每次心情不好都没人依靠。。。都是自己,但现在不是了。。
而且,关心我的人是一个在网上认识,国外的,妹妹。
她给我的鼓励,安慰和对我的了解,都比我的‘父母’还要多。讽刺吧。

还有,我所有的朋友也不知道,当他们约我出去时,我心里是非常的开心的。
即使,我们只是出去聊天开玩笑,我心情就很好了,应该是因为,我觉得至少还有人,想起我吧。。。呵。

我的人生,不像一般普通人的那样,跟家人有着很好的关系。
像我这样,我自己都不敢跟一个女生在一起,因为,当她问起有关我父母时,怎么办呢?一定会很不好。。。
虽然可能看的一点远,但,结婚时,有可能有女生想跟我吗?没我的父母参加。。。
很多女生都因该有个风风光光的婚礼才对,不该是我的那样。
算了,别说那么远先吧。

好累啊。。。

Tuesday, 28 June 2011

Another ''hate'' of myself.
I wanted to go sell clothes at Jurong Point, in the end, ends up at Tampiness...then in the end, I cancel that job and continue in my restaurant...what the hell...
I think I really likes to sell clothes because I know how to match nice styles, but things just don't go my way.
Also, because I can eat for free in restaurants, helped me to save an amount of money too.

私は,ばか ですよ~

Monday, 27 June 2011

Alice Nine New Single :「Heart of Gold」

New Single「Heart of Gold」

【初回限定盤A】
[CD]
1.Heart of Gold
2.Ray
[DVD]
1.Heart of Gold MUSIC CLIP
2.MUSIC CLIP MAKING

【初回限定盤B】
[CD]
1.Heart of Gold
2.Ray
[DVD]
収録内容未定

【通常盤】
[CD]
1.Heart of Gold
2.Ray
3.ハイカラなる輪舞曲(another version)

Sunday, 26 June 2011

Nico Nico Alice Nine

First time saw Nico Nico Live on Alice Nine~!
So happy~
Of course, so glad to see Shou 's handsome face.
But, hahaha, everyone is so biased towards Shou and give him so much protection.
If I'm him I will be a bit shy? Haha.
In today's show, they celebrated Shou's Birthday in advance~ & also...their
NEW SINGLE!~ 「Heart of Gold」
Sounds so cool!~ Can't wait~

Also, I've snapped some photos in the process for my hairstylist to cut xD
Heres one of it~ ^_^


有些女孩子的外貌真的很美,但心里却没有那么的 美。
有些女孩子长的很普通 ,但心里却非常的 美。

我喜欢的女孩,外表,我觉得,是很美。
但是。。。

我认为,很多人都很注视外表吧。。。还是说这种东西是控制不了的吧。
如果我能睡一觉把你忘得一干二净就好,都这么久了。
而你根本不在乎,不想懂也不想管。
没办法,谁叫我自己爱一厢情愿。。。
想起我以前读书的努力和动力。。。还真是单纯+傻。


我妹妹的心呢,确是真的真的很美。


P.S. : 在我的新音乐器,按那个小方格写着’Video‘ 能看影像哦~

Friday, 24 June 2011

SCREW - 幻影の鎖



Too dark...
ROCK! ROCK! WITH THE LM.C!
ROCK! ROCK! WITH THE LM.C!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



这张。。。哈哈哈 xD


我的脸不好看。。。但是,头发的颜色!~


 我今天看见一些能买的裤跟衣了,啊~下个月去买。。。还有。。。要存钱买~嘻嘻嘻。。

Thursday, 23 June 2011

哇台湾好像每次都很热闹耶,最近有了‘野台同学会’ 而且,AYABIE 会出席,真棒。
http://www.indievox.com/a/thewall/event-post/7083

今天做工时,头部的一个部分有点刺痛,会不会有什么肿瘤啊?!
还是不要说这些让妹妹担心好了
X口X

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

What should I do in the future as my career to support family or loved ones?
I've been asking myself since before the 'O' Levels ?!
But I still can't find my goals...
Wake up! Stop dreaming about rock bands and stuffs!

...even if I did, I still don't know what I should do in the future.
Should I do diploma in experience and product design in SP?
Because I saw the students going Japan?
Oh my god, my heart is glued to Japan, screwed so hard.
If only I won't grow past the age of 30...and remain forever lower than that age, it will be fine.

And here I am talking off link-stuffs...sigh...
I really don't know what I would do or accomplish in life.
Seems like nothing.
如果我做全职的话。。。就只有一天能够休息。
每天 11am 到 10pm。
要赚钱换学费还有其它的东西。。。因该只好这样了吧。
可是我不会跟妹妹疏远的。

Tuesday, 21 June 2011




今天去做运动。。。哇,去了新学校,好像有6个月多没运动了!
中学毕业就没有体育课了呀。。。真怀念。。
今天在运动时,看到一对兄妹,马上就想起妹妹了 ^U ^
我想。。。如果我们从小就一起长大,一定也会像他们一样的在玩。。。
那位哥哥还会当心妹妹的安危,不让她玩,他觉得危险的东西。。。怎么小就会照顾妹妹了呀,真了不起~
呵呵。

没有西装来跟妹妹的美丽婚纱配这么行呢?!
我从PIGG来了~! (´^ω^`)つ

Monday, 20 June 2011

Last Line

I think, I should really start working full-time and make myself busy and tire myself out, till I cannot think of other things and keep using computer with anticipation.
I hate myself so much. Why? Beause I don't even have the courage to put up how I feel at facebook or anywhere else except here where no one will comment .
I really hope I can eliminate all my feeling in using computer to see anyone or anticipating anything, because in the end, only sadness follows me.
Whats the point?
I think my heart is damaged badly enough...and I don't even know how to let it take a rest...

I think I can be sure of one thing.
If my relation with my sister breaks up, I will not open my heart to anyone on the net ever again, especially someone from other countries.
I think I'm the one who caused the sadness to my sister...
I'm such a stupid fool who can't mixed with so many people.
Sorry.
我真的没有把你丢掉,真的没有。。我也不想把你丢掉。。

JS Photo Time


Its been a long time since JS Photo time~!
This time, it is the picture of Ebisu Garden Complex!


2010年9月に、夢人(Vo/G)、タケヒト(G)、インテツ(B)、KENZO(Dr)の4人で、新たに“AYABIE”として活動をスタート。2011年5月には、TOY'S FACTORYからのメジャーデビュー決定を発表し、世間を賑やかせた“AYABIE”。

そんな彼らが、2011年8月24日にメジャー第1弾シングル「流星」を発売することになった。初回限定盤は2種類あり、それぞれ違うプロモーションビデオを収録。ファンにとっては非常に嬉しい知らせとなった。

また、<AYABIE TOUR'11『SUMMER DIVER』>が決定しており、7月17日には台湾、7月24日より日本での公演も予定されている。

AYABIE MAJOR DEBUT SINGLE「流星」
2011.08.24 On Sale
■初回限定盤A(CD+DVD)
CD:1.流星 2.Lilia
DVD:「流星」Music Clip
TFCC-89340 / \1,890(tax in)
■初回限定盤B(CD+DVD)
CD:1.流星 2.Lilia
DVD:「Lilia」Music Clip
TFCC-89341 / \1,890(tax in)
■通常盤(CD)
CD:1.流星 2.Lilia  3.MARBLE
TFCC-89342 / \1,260(tax in)

<AYABIE TOUR'11 「SUMMER DIVER」>
7月24日(日) 高田馬場AREA
7月28日(木) 横浜F.A.D
8月 1日(月) 札幌KRAPS HALL
8月 3日(水) 仙台darwin
8月22日(月) 名古屋E.L.L
8月23日(火) 梅田AKASO
8月25日(木) 博多DRUM Be-1
8月27日(土)岡山IMAGE
8月28日(日) 四日市CLUB CHAOS
8月30日(火) 赤坂BLITZ

<AYABIE TOUR'11『SUMMER DIVER』in Taiwan>
7月17日(日

These days while I'm living outside...I can't seem to eat well and sleep well...I really want my life back.

Endless Journey. . .










Saturday, 18 June 2011

I'm willing to wait for you for my whole life...even if I get nothing in return...
I don't mind tears falling every night when I sleep when I think about you...
I can reject everyone just for you...
I will just continue to love you quietly in the cold darkness...

NONONONO I can't waste my whole life!
So confused...so tired of life...yet...

Friday, 17 June 2011

『Let's dance in the moonlight』

I really want to thank probably 2 persons whom I don't know much for your blog 's music.
I really love all those songs, they are really nice...thanks Serizawa Nai & Love Kanako, Thank you.
I feel that I should at least expressed gratitude for the songs you given me (unknowningly), ha.

Also, last but not least, I want to thank Tsukiyo Murasaki for helping me to find all these website songs, thanks you so so much ^_^




今天去看恐怖电影,但是。。。我却在片尾时感到很感动。。。当一个爸爸,真的不容易。。

在游戏场所发现妹妹的行踪?! 呵呵。

Tuesday, 14 June 2011

Totto-chan -The Little Girl at the Window-

I've been reading this book for quite many times.
And everytime I read this book, my mind is really impressed with one person, and that person is

Sosaku Kobayashi.

He is really a great educator of children in many sense, in the book, Totto-chan used '' far sighted way'' to describe his teachings and I really agree with her. You see, all of his teachings and actions to childrens at Tomoe Gakuen are really impressive. He emphasised on music and the natural growth of children and in a correct way.
I'm sure there is a much more stronger way to describe his perfect teachings on the children but excuse me for my poor language expression. His vision of an ideal school makes me really admire him, even though he did not teach me before (it is definitely really fortunate if I could study at his school...), his ambition and effort put in are really something we should applaud for. He also helped to break the Barrier among those physically handicapped children from developing a kind of inferior complex among themselves when they grow up in the future, by making them swimming nakedly in the pool with everyone and helping them shedding off their shyness and body complex thinking. This act might seems nothing much But it really is a very effective method.

Also, his belief in Freedom in every children is very important and also very impressive.
He has helped children who are shy to talk in front of large crowds to erase off their fear and no-courage and no-confidence feeling. You see, the headmaster's way of having each student to speak Anything in front of whole school during lunch time has really trained them in their presentation skills and also most importantly, confidence, which are very importantly ''Teached'' at many schools from Secondary school an higher up. But, our current school of ''Teaching'' are really different and not at all close to the effectiveness of Sosaku's...not at all...

Also, I have a lot of feelings while reading this book...happiness, envy and sadness and many other.
I think modern parents should really read this book on their own and learn about the right way to properly teach their children and bringing them up.
For example, Totto-chan's mother, she did not tell Totto-chan she was expelled from her first school, only when she reached the age of 20. This action really helped Totto-chan a lot and shows how a good mother she really has.
You see, she might have said at that time while Totto-chan was still small, ''What's going to become of you? You've already been expelled from one school. If they expel you from the next? Where will you go?''
If her mother had spoken to her that time like this, could you imagine how wretch she will feel when she was entering to her new school? She wouldn't feel so excited and curious when she saw Tomoe Gakuen at first sight and her feelings on the first day will definitely be different and negative, leading her to develop a sense of self- inferiority. But, her mother is really nice and thoughtful, and this consideration has helped Totto-chan in having a healthy mindset as she grew up as well.
But, parents nowadays don't know how to bring up their children properly and often influenced their children with incorrect teachings. Mine is one example.
They say they had brought us up on hardship and we never pay them back or appreciates them. But, how sure are you that you brought us up correctly and we don't appreciate you?
Of course, we have to thank our parents, but you all have caused me to develop a kind of behaviour which has make me become a not-outgoing person and develop negatives emotions on me. I don't express things on the outside, but on the inside.
Maybe some of you reading what I write can't comprehend the important message I'm trying to convey but, I just wanted to tell you how Sosaku's every action on his student have played a immensely positive impact on the student as they grow up.

I have so much impressive things I want to talk about him but I don't know how to convey how great is he through my texts. I really hope everyone would read this book, regardless you are young or old, especially to Teachers and Parents worldwide. This book really tells us what Education really should be like.
Even though I'm not fortunate enough to be able to attend his school, but my ideal school for children is definitely like Tomoe Gakuen, a school where every children's talent and everything will be expressed and developed to the highest level...naturally. If his school still exists, I will definitely send my child in the future to that school. (I think you Sosaku Kobayashi will be very glad when you heard this sentence from anyone...right? ^_^)

When I read his biography in the book, I found out that he is also like me, Loves Music & Nature so much.
Then I started to see his Birthday and mine to see if I'm his reincarnate? Haha.

There are really many things people can learnt from reading this book.
Thanks everyone who participated in creating this book, this book which tells everyone who read, the right way to bringing up a children.

-In Memories of Sosaku Kobayashi-
At the center of the school was its founder and principal, Sosaku Kobayashi, whose love and respect for children clearly shaped the lives and outlooks of all who attended his Tomoe School.

Monday, 13 June 2011

我有态度问题吗。。?
我不知道为什么。。。还是不想去想。。。但我觉得自己很难跟父母们问好。。。
总觉得有点怪,假。
可能不这么做是很不孝,但我不是不知道你们曾经为我所做的。
我不是把它当成理所当然的,而是,默默的感谢你们。
就像那些连续剧里,孩子们根父母好好坐下来聊天。。。我们都没有。。也觉得这样做有点怪。。
我想表达的。。。可能不能在外面展现给你们看。。。就算你们看不到也不要紧。。。
只希望每个人平平安安,开开心心就好。

零秒出手 - 我喜歡上你了 EP 7


Today when I woke up...I felt like I'm covered with an unknown feeling of fear around me..is it because I dye my hair and I feel like I'm turning into a bad person...it may seems childish but...

今早睡起来时。。。突然有种莫名的恐惧包围着我。。会不会是因为我染了头发,感觉自己变坏了呢。。。可能很幼稚的想法。。。但是。。。

Saturday, 11 June 2011

情深深雨蒙蒙 - 赵薇

Today, my mother called me saying straight away, the M.O.E. send us letter and may require us to pay money if I quit school.
My mood immediately turn bad after hearing how she talks and I said I will come back and settle rudely and cut off the line.
When I went home, I found out that she lied....and she even try to find ways to cover up and said that things comes slowly, one by one issues will pop up.
I am very frustrated whenever she talk with me....I don't know why...I think its because she did not even show any care about me.
She may be caring in some other way, but definitely wrong on me.
I'm living at my grandma's house and rattle to me as if I volunteered to move out and live, do you know you are the one who keeps chasing me out!?

You still don't want to return me my phone, even though I said I will pay all my phone bills myself...
And when I can't take it anymore and decided to leave, she continued to lecture.

Also...I'm very glad  and happy about my father....he still showed concern about me...
Even though he just tell me to sleep earlier, don't sleep too late....then try to cover up his concern, I can feel it...
But when I think about my mother....I can't help feeling that sour sorrow again...

Thursday, 9 June 2011

To be living is really tired...
I wonder what is the purpose of us living sometimes....
Is it to enjoy? Doesn't everyone travel to the death point someday?
Nothing is forever...in this sense.

I can easily revert back to my old self, when I'm going to the web for nobody except myself.
Nothing much to look forward to except for temporary surprises.
I can just erase everything in a flash....my sister and everyone...and continue living alone till things comes to an end.
Should I?

I'm tired...

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Alice Nine Members : BLUE FLAME

Vo. 将


Gt. ヒロト


Gt. 虎


Ba. 沙我


Dr. ナオ

Truth

To say the truth...

I don't mind myself having little friends or even none

I don't mind eating on my own at school or anywhere else

I don't mind eating cheap foods

I don't mind going out by myself

I don't mind that my marriage (if ever, there is), will be simple and maybe even no people attending except the one I love

The only thing that I mind is...
Whether the one whom I loved, can accept that everything of me...

【携帯きせかえツール配信情報】

洗練された華美なヴィジュアルを放ち快進撃を続けるAliceNineきせかえが遂に登場!!
蒼炎に包まれたメンバー達をあなたの携帯に☆




※サンプル画像はイメージです。

Sunday, 5 June 2011

松下優也 - 乐园



会到吗。。。
现在。。有好多事情围绕着我。
所以,我每次都很珍惜所有快乐的时光。。。因为谁知道几时。。。我会失去一切。
就算要害怕也还是只能靠自己。。。
对我好的人我都不会忘记的。。。
我真不知道未来如何。。。
想必也会听腻我埋怨。。
路会有对错吧。。。我有走错吗?
不懂要说什么了。。。

P.S. : 妹妹也有伤心的事吧? 有些妹妹的文章我看不到。。。我好讨厌自己现在。。。想陪妹妹。。。都做不到。妹妹会没事的。。。一定会没事的~ ◠‿◠

Friday, 3 June 2011

Today I went to school with my parents...
As usual, my mother always don't know how to say things correctly, keep rattle on about useless things...
I know shes my mother, I'm really in debt with her...but, she don't understand that I don't like my private life to be...said out.
Why did you tell those teachers about what I want to go Japan or I like Japan?
I also never said I want to go Japan now but you keep putting words into my mouth.
You know I really hate how you get people to be misunderstood about my real intention?
Do you know that when people hear how you said of me, they will see me as someone immatured? Which is really not the case?!

You keep saying that my thinking is immatured but I must really tell you, I see things so much deeper than you...would you believe me? No.
Why don't you just tell the teacher that, Money is the only concern?
Because you know its wrong and you cleverly use other reasons to cover up your reasons for me not to switch school.
I've asked you before, if I used my own money to pay school fees, and now I would like to change school, would you feel angry like now?
You gave me a direct answer : ''No''.

Just because I never say anything doesn't mean I don't feel anything.
I still considered about private stuffs that I think is uncomfortable for outsider to know.
I still considered your ''face'' and never said to teacher about you wanting me to provide for myself in terms of everything, even wanting to chase me out and find somewhere to live.
When I explain to you your intention you will just rebuke and say, ''I dont care!'' , ''You really still don't know how to think'' .

Ok, its fine, I will continue to make my own choice.
Now, I will still say clearly, ''I NEVER REGRETTED MY ACTIONS''.
Whatever the outcome will be, I won't blame anyone, even though you say that based on my personalities, I will...
But then when I ask you When?
You can't give me an answer.
Thats because I never blame anyone of how things are for me now.

I will still strive to the future that awaits me, without boundaries...
Anryl, I hope you will be able to come through this barrier also.
I know we will if we continue to move forward~

This space for now, has become my life diary instead of Japanese stuffs, sorry for those Japanese fans here, but I will continue to update cool stuffs as usual  ^ m ^

To A New World. . . ~

P.S. : Everyone, I'm not able to blog as usual as I want from now on....because...my laptop is confiscated and I'm not really allowed to use computer after withdrawing from school...But please come often, I will still blog here! I will always find the opportunity to use, don't give up on me, everyone!~

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

You still don't understand a fucking thing, I really sometimes hope that I am adopted instead, fuck off from my life.

Monday, 30 May 2011

无迹の伤痛

今天我又去看了辅导老师,在我走去那个辅导室的路上,我的心想着 。。。‘去了我的情况会改善吗?最终还是要靠我自己。。。好像在浪费时间。。。’
当我跟那位辅导师会谈时。。。我能感受到他在让我了解自己。。。了解为何我现在会过得这么怎么难受。。。

他也让我了解自己现在的处境。。。

当我很难过时,我都会找一个没人的角落痛苦。。。就连。。现在在诉说时。。。我也在。。。流着泪。。。
我不想让任何人看见我难过的一面。。。我每次难过时。。。就会用笑来掩盖或者就找理由,离去没人的地方。。。
很难过时。。。就在厕所里默默地哭泣。。。到自己没再有哭的感觉为止。。。

跟那位辅导师说完后,他让我确定自己想转校的念头,然后他也希望我能跟父母亲好好的说。。。告诉他们我心里的想法。。。希望我前途顺利。人真的很好。

当我会到家时,告诉父母时,我妈妈的反应就是很生气的骂我。。
她骂我浪费钱。。。不会想。。。
当我说自己这样做没错时,她便骂我‘混蛋’。。
我便生气了,说她眼里只有钱钱钱,而她又说。。。当然,钱最重要。

我家人到现在都不知道我的情况。。。不知道我以前所受的伤。。。不知道安慰和鼓励是我需要的。。。
一无所知。。。
我每次都会把伤心的感受写在这里。。。因为没我认识的人会知道。
但可能现在,有妹妹会看。。。但。。。任何的鼓励,我也只能对你说谢谢。。。就算那些鼓励也让没帮助。

我是个男生。。。有着这种行为,我觉得自己很逊。
跟以前开心阳光的我。。。截然不同。。。可能这是我在路途中适应的一种行为。。
在我身边认识我的人,我决不让他们看到我这一面。
现在也开始觉得。。。不想看到妹妹来了。。。
我因该是怕认识我的人看到我这一面,对我的眼光。。。我不知道怎么面对他们。。。
在他们面前开玩笑时,一定好怪。
虽然妹妹不会因此讨厌我我躲开我,但妹妹就会认为我没那么强。。。心灵很软弱。。。
我不要。。。我讨厌。

现在。。。脑里一片空白了。。。

Sunday, 29 May 2011

看着妹妹的照片,我越来越觉的妹妹跟她PICO里的人很像~
好可爱。。。
我学校要考试了,惨了,都没常准时上学。。。
但虽然迟到,我还是会去课室里,好过完全没去对吧?

算了,这些都不重要,妹妹最重要~ ^ O ^ (不重要就好! T 3 T)

Saturday, 28 May 2011

最近都很晚睡。。。哎。
昨晚,我梦见妹妹耶,梦本来满清楚的,但现在想时就有点模糊 ~_~
但我好像梦见妹妹在日本的某个地方。。。呵呵。
好想快点想起来呀!!

我现在在学校的处境。。。还真是。。。。危险。。。T m T

Friday, 27 May 2011

我的赖床变得越来越严重了。。。
眼看,学业就快完蛋了吧。

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Woooosh!~
好久没跟妹妹联络了,不知道是不是把我给甩掉了 。。= X
我以为你星期一回来,还是我搞错了?
该不会是因为。。。看见我听右肩蝴蝶的歌吧!?
然后觉得我是个变态就闪人?
是也没办法。。。最少我知道自己没伤害到人。

应该不会吧?
妹妹都说过了,还是别胡思乱想了(敲头)
但希望妹妹也别出事~

~晚安,妹 

the GazettE - VORTEX [HD 1080p]


See it while it is available~!



Unknowingly, I've bought a shirt that actually resembles Shou's Tokyo Galaxy costume!? * U *