Operationally Ready Date

Today is the day I finish serving my 2 years of National Service.....

Honestly speaking, I don't feel happy at all....

In fact, I'm feeling sad....

I know this means that I'm about to progress into another stage of my life....

but I don't think I can take it....

There are so much emotions in me right now....

During my past few shifts, lots of things happened....

And yesterday, on my last shift, I really wanted to express my feelings for a female officer.

Almost everyone in the NPC has been helping me, and I'm really grateful and thankful to them.

I managed to talk to her, wished her Happy Birthday....and asked if she got received my present....

It makes me feel so happy when she smiled to me....saying Thank You and Yes....

That really already makes my last shift and everything worthwhile....

But, that's not all that I wanted to say....

I wanted to tell her that I like her and I want her to be together with me....

I think maybe because there is people in the room, I'm not able to tell her on the spot....

So they told me to come back later after I've composed myself and think about what I want to say.

Of course I did, and I'm ready to tell her that....

After waiting for their briefing to end....I tried to approach her again....

But she ran from the back door quickly....

I tried chasing after her but in the end I didn't manage to find her....and I'm so angry at myself....

I know I could have found her.....if only I had found her.........

I'm so stupid.....I really hope time could rewind for me to find again....I knew I would have got it.....

why do I keep failing.....

I really don't want to leave....I want to see her again.....

I don't want people to say bad things about her because of what happened.....

It's all my fault....I failed.....

I don't know what to do now.....only hope she would reply me....

I couldn't let go....I don't want to let go.....

I don't want to be alone anymore......

I still remember this time....exactly 2 years ago just before I enlist....

There is that someone for me to talk to and accompany with on the net everytime....

But not really anymore now....

Well, it's really hard to get over it....all I can say is that....we're still around?

Nonetheless, I wanted to thank her for accompanying me through lots of tough time in my life.

I think I will forever be grateful to her regardless of what happened.

我一直都会记得这个。。。就刚好在两年前。。。我去服役的那一天。

虽然我们现在已经不再常说话什么的了，许多事情也都变了。。。

但我只能说。。。至少我们都还在？

我非常感谢你陪着我度过我许多人生中辛苦的日子。。。

不管发生什么事，我觉得我都会一辈子感激你的。