Black Root

Everyone has that 'consciousness' in their minds I believe.
That process of evaluating someone.
No matter of how much importance one is to you.
You will evaluate.

For someone that is dear to you, you will take time to understand him.
Then after understanding pretty much about him, the passion will starts to fall off gradually......till it becomes of nothing.
The simple that someone is, the faster the rate of it.

If that person knows you more than you know of him.....I really find it hard to continue.


......Performing well in life, and be alone and aloof seems well to me now...
Right now, I'm still confused about the Love I'm talking about so often.
Is it a real feeling of Love?...
If it is, why am I feeling so unhappy and nothing could be done to stop it.
Life is totally wreck and theres no salvation.
Soaked in misery.

Actually I wanted to express something...but somehow I couldn't bring it out properly.
The thing about the evaluation part.
Probably it may only be my own odd judgement.
As to how I'm feeling that people can give me.

Why do you feel happy in life?...
Because there are goals you wanted to achieve and people around you in your life that cares about you?
Maybe places around the world you would visit with your families and such?
Yeah...maybe that would be happy huh...?

To me now, totally none is happening at all.
None.
I'm not moving forward ever since the day I took the wrong step.
I hate saying these shit...

I'm really getting bored in life......to a point that I would come to hate everything that is going to happen.
Heck caring every thing in life.
The roots of nihilism still roots within me.

I hope I could just erase my existence on everyone's mind.
I'm just a stranger.